Well I was having a great great great week. I still felt fairly crappy about stuff. But we got the check from Dad's stocks and 401K so I felt pretty spiffy about where my life was going at least. We are getting a new truck and I'll get Dad's car. And Dad took me shopping and such and it was in general a good time to be had by all.
Then this week. I'm so burnt out on Algebra, but I love math, how am I burnt out on it? I'm supposed to be running and frollicking in the feilds of division and factoring flowers should bloom at my feet. This hitting the wall nonsense is not in my game plan.
And THEN. In seventh hour, I am talking with Jennifer (an aquaintance from school) about her boyfriend, he's nineteen and he is in the Marines or something. He just got called up to go to Iraq, a serious situation I know something about. I took a wrong path on mine though and I'm talking to her seeing how she is doing and giving tentative advice. Jay, that pompous arrogant selfcentered irritating man decides that we are to blame for our own problems and that we shouldn't be dating these older guys anyway, and what a risk it is, and we knew what we were getting into and shouldn't be whining about it. Excuse me? Whining about it? We were having a decent conversation about someting we can go through together. We weren't whining in the least. AND DATING OLDER MEN? Since the fuck when has it been any of his damn business how old the man I'm dating is, he gives me enough shit about steve anyway, in jest I hope. But this? Oh no, this is unreasonable. "What is so much better about them than guys your own age?" he asks. "Gee I don't know, maybe the active braincells, or the sense of independence? Or the private housing? Gee Jay I just don't know. Maybe it's a larger since of Maturity." He threw my books on the floor. Then we go to to Maddox's room (she's our gifted teacher lady) And he retells it to her how we are taking a risk, blows it up in face again. "I'm going home, JAY, I hope you are older someday and are sad and lonely, and when I'm happy and have a family I'm going to find you and show you and I'll say 'look jay, see what risks got me?'" I was far more angry than I should have been. But He has no right. None at all. I'm sorry he is alone right now, I have stood with him through all of his shit, when he is happy I'm happy for him, when he's sad I help him. We went through a lot of shit at about the same time. And we helped each other alot. But I'm finally getting a break and all he can do is critisize and beat me down because he hasn't gotten his break yet. He holds himself down more than any other person. He can't find a since of congratulation of anyone who is having any luck. Even I did that when someone was having better luck, I applaud people rising above the situation. And I was way to wound up about his comments to let him continue treating me that way. It may not be an issue by tomorrow, he won't apologize, he never does. He wil always be right now matter what happens. What an Asshole.
And THEN. my bank screwed me over and an account that should have 20 dollars, has oh wait.. $-95.00
What a bitch. I know why, but it's still bullshit.
Thanks guys, sorry to yell like this.
Nighto,
Dawno